Aquila Online

A thought on fatherhood

// January 19th, 2011 // No Comments » // General

**Update: This post was originally drafted on 25 December 2010 – but as we started our baby readiness drills it was never finished. After the birth of our son, I’ve finally had a chance to finish it.**

As we count down the days to the birth of our son, I can’t help but feel slightly overwhelmed at the prospect of fatherhood.

I’m not necessarily referring to the act of changing nappies, feeding a baby or being worried about the pyjama drill. I’m looking forward to that experience and getting completely immersed in all those things and more.

As I look to my Creator as the perfect Father-figure, so too do I want to be the role model for my child. And that’s what sometimes scares me. Am I the role model (with my faults) that I want him to grow up to be like?

Recently two things prompted this thought. A “scary” analysis of my timesheets of 2010 revealed an average working day of 14 hours – 15 if you had to count one particular project into the equation.

No sane man can sustain this, and have a balanced family life. Hopefully 2011 will be much improved.

The second was prompted by a post 5 of the Best ‘Surprise Ending’ Songs Ever.
As the author mentions:

“Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin…no matter how many times you listen to this, especially if you’re a parent, the onus is on you to not get choked up.

The chorus goes like this:
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man on the moon.
“When you comin’ home ?”
“Son, I don’t know when.
We’ll get together then.
You know we’ll have a good time then.”

Even though these seem quite daunting, I found some comfort in reading Pastor Mark Driscoll’s free e-book Pastor Dad – where he looks at the ways that a father can raise his children well.

One ‘truism’ in this book stands out for me:

Every dad is a pastor. The important thing is that he is caring for his flock well.

Armed with 10 Practical Pastor Dad Tips, some good common sense, loads of love for my son and my wife and by God’s grace – I’ll be able to bring up my family in the best possible way.

A quick reflection on 2010

// January 1st, 2011 // No Comments » // General

Here’s a different take on my reflections of the past year.

Decision of the year:
Deciding to lead a Lifegroup at GodFirst Church Fourways. For some reason it was a nerve wrecking decision at first, but in the end it was such an extremely blessed experience. We laughed, we cried, we ate, we wrestled, we made great friends, but most importantly, we got to know more of God through doing life together.

Event of the year:
Finding out that we’re going to have a baby.

Person of the year:
Although Time magazine has named Facebook co-founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg Person of the Year, my vote for person of the year goes to my wife. For putting up with my 15-hour work days, for creating a wonderful home for us and for always supporting me in the changes we made this year in how we live our lives.

Sports moment of the year:
South Africa successfully hosting the 2010 FIFA World Cup was undoubtedly the biggest event of the year.

Mother Nature’s moment of the year:
Mother nature certainly flexed a bit this past year, causing some devastating earthquakes around the world, most notably the ones in Haiti, Chile and New Zealand.

F-up of the year:
Neglecting my body half-way through the year, putting my back out and busting a knee – probably comes from 15-hour work days, overall bad diet and lifting of heavy boxes while getting rid of clutter….which is a story for another day.

Thanks to Miriam for the idea of this post.

Mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee

// October 13th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Blog Stuff, Interesting

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough; remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and start to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things – God, family, children, health, friends and favorite passtimes.
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else – The small stuff.’

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So…

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical check-ups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.

Take care of the golf balls first – the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.

‘I’m glad you asked’.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’

Goals

// March 21st, 2010 // No Comments » // General

We all have them, those white elephants sitting somewhere in a corner gathering dust. That guitar that was going to make you a rock star, if only you took the lessons. (more…)