Archive for October, 2005

Speedy Gonzales

// October 28th, 2005 // 3 Comments » // General

Speedy Gonzales

Yep another blistering fast morning in traffic. Just beautiful.

I’m hoping the cops don’t pull me over for speeding…

Pointless Pointsmen

// October 27th, 2005 // No Comments » // General

Pointless Pointsmen

Normally pointsmen have a vital roll to play in directing traffic and improving the flow.

However, I think the one around the corner from me is actually contributing to the backup.

Shouln’t the JHB Roads Agency do proper impact studies before putting some of these measures in place?

I can think of a few other intersections these guys are definitely needed.

Wireless Broadband Ratings Report

// October 17th, 2005 // 4 Comments » // General

Still in the dark as to which wireless broadband service to choose? Fret no more, ‘cos the MyADSL and the Department of Business information Technology, University of Johannesburg has just released the findings of the MyADSL wireless broadband report / (direct link).

According to the report on ITWeb, Sentech walked away with the ‘honours’ with an overall result of 87%, while Vodacom’s 3G finished second with 81%, followed by iBurst with 80% and MTN’s 3G with 78%.

And now you know.

On Bosses Day

// October 14th, 2005 // No Comments » // Funnies

Got this little gem via email today.

The new set of rules from a secretary on bosses day…..

  • Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4.00pm and then bring it to me. I find the challenge of a deadline refreshing.
  • If it’s really a “rush job”, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to enquire how it’s going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me advising me at every keystroke.
  • Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It give me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
  • If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training.
  • If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority one. I am psychic.
  • Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
  • If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If word gets out, it could mean a promotion. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
  • If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. There is no reason to confuse me with useful information.
  • Never introduce me to the people you’re with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
  • Tell me all your little problems. No-one else has any and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much tax on your brand new company car.
  • Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the money anyway.

(Writer unknown)

Certain Words Can Hurt Your CV

// October 13th, 2005 // No Comments » // General

Do you have words like creative, innovative, reliable, team player and well-organised in your CV? Well then you better take another look at that resume of yours.

According to Scott Bennett, author of “The Elements of Résumé Style”, instead of making empty claims to demonstrate your work ethic, use brief, specific examples to demonstrate your skills. In other words, show, don’t tell. Browse through the 25 words that can hurt your resume for more.

Thanks to Cherryflava for the link…

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