Aquila Online

After careful consideration and much hinting, I’ve decided to let The Hoff go to find greener pastures. Sadly, this will be my last Hoff post and with that I leave you with two corkers.

Firstly, it appears as through The Hoff has joined Flight Centre – can you say “beef or chicken?”

Thankfully the dreaded Clippy has been removed from the Windoze help function, but alas, I don’t think MicroHoff will be of much assistance either.

And with that, ladies and gentlemen, the Hoff has left the building…..

What a pity. The Bulls unfortunately lost their Super 12 semi-final match against the The Waratahs this weekend. I would agree with Bulls coach Heyneke Meyer sentiments that the Bulls will definitely be the pacemakers and even win the 2006 season. We’re still the third best provincial team in the Southern Hemisphere and that’s not something to sneer at.

After the match I booted up my PS2 and popped in Rugby 2005. Quite ironically enough, the semi-final game in my Super 12 campaign pitted the Bulls against the Waratahs – I sought revenge and the Bulls triumphed 93-0 over the Waratahs. It was sweet justice – at least for a few minutes – until reality set in.

I know this might be a slight contentious subject, but here’s a question for those of you with a Griffin iTrip attachment for the iPod.

Which radio frequency is the best to use? In Johannesburg it seems as through 106.0 FM is fairly usable – but depending on how far you are from SABC and other radio towers, it tends to pick up a bit of distortion/noise from other stations.

Clearly the default setting is not usable and most other channels seem to be problematic.

Any thoughts?

Disclaimer: Please note that the author accepts no liability regarding the views or representations contained in this message, whether express or implied.

Good luck this weekend boys!

So there you are – one burning pocket, googly-eyed and dribbling from the mouth at the mere sight of a technological gizmo and feeling like a kid in a candy store looking at the shiny surface, the clean lines and the buttons – “Oh the buttons!”

Throw in an over-eager sales person trying to close the deal and a slight flashback of your bank manager phoning you up the next day to let you know that you’ve over-extended your credit limit – you close your eyes and make the sale.

Hands trembling while holding your newly acquired gadget you dash to your car. Damn, that last meeting of the day. You attend the meeting, but cannot seem to shrug off the idea that a little voice is emanating from your car’s boot calling you to, “Plug me in! Switch me on! Press my buttons!”

The meeting is over; a feeble excuse not to stay for drinks; you dash for the car – with a quick check in the boot if the new toy is still there where you had left it.

You’re clearly not thinking straight as you take the wrong exit and you land in peak-hour traffic. Another 45 minutes pass, when you pull up in your driveway, almost disembarking the car before you’ve had time to switch off the engine.

A quick “Hi! Bye!” to the neighbour standing outside trying to get your attention. You’re clutching your prized possession as if everyone is a would-be mugger, and you’re sure the neighbour was one in a previous life.

Fumbling with the front door keys – you struggle to open the door. Dropping everything else you had in your arms, you take up position on the living room floor. Completely neglecting the fact that you should have gone to the loo around lunchtime when you finished that second double-espresso.

Carefully removing the outer plastic wrapping, taking care not to rip any other part of the box. You’re almost sure you can feel the warm glow of the light emanating from within as you slowly open up the box to reveal its contents.

There in all its beauty and splendour – lies your new state-of-the-art toy. You remove it from its confines and caress and touch it as if it’s a bar of gold. You reluctantly put it down as you examine the rest of the contents of the box, finding a myriad of cables, booklets, installation CD’s and the all-important charger.

Umm, hang on, wait a minute…what’s this? The charger plug is European? Shocked in disbelief you rummage through the rest of the box trying to find the South African version of the plug. Maybe it’s under the cradle? It’s not there. You’re now searching with vigour – maybe it’s under all the discarded wrapping; maybe there’s an adaptor of sorts – you search – but all in vain.

Dashing around the house like a kid with attention deficit disorder, only stopping occasionally to check the existing plugs and adaptors in the house – you fail to find a suitable connector that will fit this darned plug.

Spent from doing the quarter-mile sprint around the house, and knocking your head against every single door and banging your shins against those famous barstools, you flop down in front of the box again.

Maybe if I RTFM (“Read The Flipping Manual”)! You thumb through the pages to the section covering “How to charge your unit.” Reading through the instructions you cannot help to think that they always seem to state the obvious – “Connect the AC plug adapter to the power adapter and into a working electrical outlet.” Well, no shit Sherlock!

You read further, “If you have a PC (Duh!), in most cases you can also charge your unit by connecting it to your computer.” Ding! Lightbulb! “Ah…Why didn’t I think of that!” – you shout as the fog suddenly clears before your eyes and you seem to see the light again. (At this point it also helps to clean your glasses, which has now completely fogged up because of your nervous sweat outbreak).

You frantically search for the unit connector to USB 2.0 cable, which is said to not only provide you with the transferring capabilities you will need in future, but with the all important function of supplying power to your unit for that all important charge.

Just as you want to connect the cable you see the warning sign out of the corner of your eye – “Install Software Before Connecting Unit”. “Bugger! More delays. I must be cursed,” you start thinking by yourself. This must be a ploy by the powers that be.

You diligently follow the instructions of installing the software before being prompted to connect the unit to the PC using the supplied cabling. Your hands tremble in anticipation as you plug the one end into the PC and the other into the unit. A slight buzz in your hand and a flicker on the screen ensues almost immediately. An image of a battery and a green light appears on the screen. “Voila! Houston we have lift-off!” You do a rain-dance around the scattered packaging in utter joy that it’s finally working. Your new baby is charging!!

When you finally calm down, you realise that your tribute to the powers above just turned into a pressing need to finally go and relieve yourself. (6 hours later and now you have to go to the latrine). As the built-up anxiety flushes away from your body, you stand there in glee – knowing that in, oh say 5 hours time, your little baby will be powered up and ready to go.

To be continued…